Little Cotton Rabbits

A quickie for the weekend

Just a quickie before the weekend. I am still here (and mostly sane) have a few war wounds - mostly glue in my hair and ringing ears from all the pop music. The house is a tip but kids are happy, so who cares?!

Have been a knitting nomad all week and finished off some cakes on a pastel theme. Counting down to Monday and visualising an empty house, Ludovico tinkling the ivories and my box of yarn - ahhh bliss! In truth I think the hoover will be calling and I will no longer be able to ignore the washing mountain, still I can dream. Have a great weekend everyone.

 

Ballerinas

Have just managed to bribe Amy off the computer with a snack, so I don't have long!

Have at last finished 3 ballerina bunnies for Amy and her friends. Am deep in the wilderness of half term (so far sanity is intact) but lack of knitting time is making hands shake and eye twitch. Have 5 days left and am determind to make it without crumbling. The camp guards here are merciless forcing repeat episodes of Charlie and Lola, hours of disco dancing to pop junior and sudden demands for food perfectly timed to create distraction. Have already put phone in fridge and juice on cornflakes. Must stay focused, must be strong, knitting days will come again. WAIT, oh no I can hear that cry "Mumeeeee..." must hide. Will contact again when it's safe. Bunny Knitter Out.

Spinning and a polar bear.

This week I have been mostly knitting rabbits. Been catching up with orders and still finishing off those ballerinas. Because each rabbit takes at least 2 days to make it's difficult for me to take on many orders but it is something I like doing because it encourages new ideas. I really enjoyed making this little bear. 'Pearl the polar bear' was a commission for a lovely Lady called Jacqueline (who by the way has the loveliest shop - if you like anything to do with tea & coffee then check it out). She just said a bear, sea-colours and left the rest to me (my favourite kind of brief!) I'd just bought some beautiful pure silk yarn (Debbie Bliss) it's gorgeously soft and sheeny and seemed perfect for the job. I think I'll try and make a few rabbits in the same yarn with sequinned dresses - a kind of 'Princess' range.

I'm busy trying to prepare for half-term next week. I have a good stock of colouring books for Amy - she loves Rosie Flo books (the bodies are drawn in and you just add heads, arms and legs) and we've got some new blocks on order for Toby. His absolute favourite toy is a stacking pyramid but it's getting a bit battered. He 'liberated' it from nursery last July and since then it's gone everywhere with him - he even cuddles it in bed (I know it's the most peculiar cuddly toy ever!). Huw has finished Toby's birthday present from us and installed it. It's a big wooden spinning disc ('scuse my unfinished mural!).

Toby is particulary stimulated by fast movement. Most autistic children have an area of hightened sensory stimulation - can be auditory, visual, tactile etc... Toby is definitely most stimulated by the visual. He's always been excited by watching the wheels of cars go by, watching motorbiking on the telly (takes after Daddy there!) and he loves spinning things, ball runs etc. He adores this disc and gets very close to it squealing with delight as it spins. Personally I get very dizzy when I look at it - it's definitely not one to play with after a bottle of wine!

A brother and sister

One of the nice things about taking special orders is that I get to create things that I wouldn't otherwise of thought of. For this order I was asked to knit up a girl and a boy both with shoes. It took a little working out but I finally managed a little pair of trainers and thought that he also needed some shorts. I'm really pleased with the result, so thanks Teresa for your inspiring brief. At the moment I'm finishing off some ballerinas and a few more special orders but I'll be making some more boys with shoes for the shop in the near future.

 

Normal service is resumed...

Thanks so much everyone for your very touching comments. As it turns out we had a pretty good day.

 

Toby really enjoyed his cake and his absolute favourite presents are a wooden marble run and a disco ball. Amy is coveting the disco ball but is content to share it and of course we had to have a disco which turned into 2 hours of dancing to her pop junior cd with the lights off and the disco ball going. She even made signs for the door: Closd for Privat Party and insisted I made fruit cocktails (orange juice with a slice of lemon, icecube and twizzle stick).
When we woke up this morning it was one of those perfect autumn mornings that I love so much - all misty and still with dew dripping off everything.

It is the small things that give pleasure, dancing with children, indulging their fantasies and the beauty of nature. Thanks again for thinking of us x.

A bittersweet day

First a warning - please don't read this post if you're feeling down. Pop back tomorrow for something a bit more upbeat. If however you have an interest in living with autism please read on...

Today is Toby's birthday. Normally children's birthdays are a busy affair; a party, lots of presents, friends and lots of excitement on the part of the birthday boy or girl. Not so with Toby. Toby's birthdays come and go without him being any the wiser. He gets to eat more cake than usual (something he definitely appreciates), he gets some new stuff and he does quite like balloons but other than that he's completely unaware of the significance. I on the other hand find this day one of the most significant in my year. It's probably the hardest day for me and one I never manage to journey without tears.

It's impossible for me to get through this day without reflecting on what might have been had he not been autistic, what it would be like to have a normal family life and to be able to do normal family things all together. I mourn for his lost future - you never realise how much you take your children's future for granted (that they will grow, find a life-partner, have kids of their own and live mostly happy, fulfilling lives) until it's gone. Toby does have a future but it's a world away from what I would wish for him. It's uncertain and dependant upon others. I hope to always be around to care for Toby but I'm mindful of the fact that I may not be here to look after him for as long as he needs me.

His birthday is also a marker, a measure if you like of his progess and development. Autistic children have characteristically spikey developmental profiles. Which means that whilst he has the physical abilities of any child his age, in some areas such as speech, play and social interaction he still scores at a 12-18 month old level. Only time will tell wether he will ever develop speech. He is making progress with communication using a picture exchange method (more of that another day) and so there is a hope that his speech development is just grossly delayed.

I carry my sadness deep inside and most of the year I genuinely feel mostly cheerful. I feel very lucky to be able to appreciate beauty and joy in small things such as the changing seasons, a beautiful sky, the song of a blackbird, Amy's laughter and Toby's hugs. This is the one day a year when it spills over and I let it. You need one day a year of self-indulgent melancholy - it's not good for the soul to bottle up any strong emotion. So forgive me my wallowing and please don't be put off visiting here again. I don't usually talk about how I feel like this but somehow it seems easier and a bit theraputic to write it down, a bit like making a paper boat and launching your troubles down a river on it - or maybe it's because the delete key is only a click away and so I can erase all this if I chicken out!

As Amy will tell you, one of my favourite sayings is "you have a choice in life..." something which I strongly believe. Today I am choosing to allow myself to feel sad, tomorrow I will be choosing to feel happy. So on a happy note here are some pics of Toby enjoying his summer...

 

A quiet weekend

We've had a quiet weekend of pottering about. I felt a bit guilty as it was a beautiful day yesterday and we really should have been out getting some fresh air. Still the trees have yet to turn to their full autumn glory so there's plenty of time for some wonderful woodland walks. I finished another 3 rabbits, here is Ivy Rose and the others will be finished shortly.

Gift bags

These are some of the fabric party bags that I made for Amy's birthday, I think they'll become a permanent feature of future birthday parties!

Have a great weekend everyone.

knitting in funny places!

One of the things about having an autistic child is that you end up doing things at the oddest times. Part of the reason that I started making small items rather than people-sized jumpers is that when Toby is around I can usually only get a few rows done at any one time. He is very demanding and constantly pulls both Huw and myself around the house. I carry my knitting bag with me (usually with an odd assortment of things inside - I always look in there when I can't find the T.V. remote control) and end up being a knitting nomad. I knit in the bathroom (when he's having his bath I usually manage to knit the bottom of a cake or a sleeve for a rabbit jumper),  I knit sitting on his bedroom floor, halfway up the stairs, on the wall in the garden, in the playhouse halfway up the climbing frame, infact the only place I draw the line at is the loo - I do have some limits!

I love Baby Einstein videos because Toby adores them and so for the 28 minutes of running time I'm usually free to sit and can knit up a rabbit head. Autistic children often have difficulty making the distinction between day and night and Toby is no exception. Most nights he's awake for at least an hour - sometimes as long as 4! This is all good knitting time as he's tired and content to stack his pyramid or watch videos until the need for sleep overcomes him. I often get my biggest chunk of uninterrupted knitting time in the wee small hours - this is why knitting keeps me sane - it distracts me from focusing too deeply on the fact I'd much rather be in my bed!

Have taken some pics of jumpers that I made for the kids when Toby was still little - just to prove I can knit big!