March has been full of extra challenges here, a two-steps-forward one-step-back kind of month.
Amy went into hospital for surgery on her complicated wisdom teeth, which required a general anaesthetic and, for someone with quite intense anxiety issues, this was very difficult for her. We're proud of her for coping, and she's now recovering well.
Planning for Toby's life after college has been an adventure in stress management, and as yet is still unresolved. My mind is a cacophony of worries about his future and the impact that has on all of our lives as H & I grow old. And Toby has been struggling to cope recently and has had to stay home from college a couple of times after injuring staff. With all of this to juggle any hope of me being able to concentrate on a task like pattern writing has completely gone out of the window. In fact I can't seem to concentrate on anything fully at the moment. I can't even choose a shade of green to finish my Spring lamb and instead have managed to start a rabbit and a bear, flitting around with my knitting too.
The other day I sat down with a notepad in front of me a tried to write a list of things that would promote some calm happiness in my life and all I had on my list was 'going to the woods'. Going to the woods is enough for now, those quiet solitary interludes help me to top up my batteries just enough, but in truth I long to have something more exciting to look forward to with eager anticipation. It would be so liberating to wake up in the morning and think to myself, 'what shall I do today...?'; to do something on a whim without meticulous planning to fit around other people's schedules; over even simply to choose what time I go to bed at night, when to take a bath, or just to be able to sit and concentrate on something, anything, without constant interruption in order to meet someone else's needs.
But that is not my lot, and so I must choose to either wallow in self-pity or try to embrace the gifts that each day can bring if you look hard enough. I'm coming to realise that since I cannot change my circumstances the thing that I must change is my mindset and have started reading 'A Book for Life: 10 steps to spiritual wisdom, a clear mind and lasting happiness' by Jo Bowlby and I really hope it delivers on that tantalising title.
Happily being out in the countryside always does bring me pleasure, and there are many small joys out there now that Spring is arriving: the gradual building of bird song each morning, each week a little louder and with a few more voices, gathering towards the full beauty of the dawn chorus that comes in April; wild daffodils and wood anemones nodding in the spring breezes and the field boundary hedgerows now clothed in cloud-like blackthorn blossom. And I am grateful for the small sustaining pleasures of seeing the beauty of nature.
I hope that you're finding some moments of peace and pleasure in your days too, J x
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It's been so wet here, rain has fallen for weeks on end and many of our familiar pathways through the woods are now well beyond muddy and are completely flooded and impassable. It's been mild too, we've only had a few frosts here this winter and everything now seems to be sprouting and proclaiming the arrival of Spring. Hopefully it's not too soon and there are no snow storms just around the corner.
The old plum tree in the garden is currently in blossom, though with all the rain it's been hard to get good pictures. Usually I post with pictures of it's beautiful frothy white blossom against bright blue skies, but this year it's rain soaked blossom. It's still a lovely sight though and has been a magnet for the growing local population of green parakeets, who've been enjoying feasting on the unopened flower buds, sometimes 6 of them in the tree at a time.
We've also had daily visits from Squidgy the squirrel who now scrabbles at the back door to get our attention each morning and who loves Brazil nuts best of all. Up until a couple of weeks ago Kit was also visiting frequently and always in daylight. Now however it seems as if we have a new friendly fox, who always visits in the dark. It's so unusual for a wild fox to tolerate being visible to humans, usually as soon as they see or hear you they disappear into the shadows and are gone. But this new fox is much bolder and, like Kit, stays in the garden when we come out of the house, she sits a safe distance away, ready to run if the need arises but looking hopefully for a snack of one of Toby's cocktail sausages, which I'm more than happy to share with her. Amy has named her Kira and she's been visiting every day for the last week. I'm not sure if that means Kit has been turfed off her territory again (a while back she disappeared for many months) and we are wondering, because of the bold behaviour, if Kira is actually one of Kit's cubs that were raised in our garden in 2020. No way to know of course, I'm just delighted to be able to see these beautiful wild creatures up close.
In between planning for Toby (hopefully we're nearing the final stages of that all now) I have of course been knitting. I've been wanting to knit a lamb in spring green colours, I'm so drawn to green as a colour at the moment, but am dithering about what shade to knit in, I find it's one of the more difficult colours to choose tonal shades in. Hopefully I'll reach a decision and finish a spring lamb soon.
Hope that you're finding small joys in your days, J x
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There's currently a lull in our planning for Toby and a temporary reprieve from paperwork, so I'm enjoying decompressing a little with regular walks out in the woods.
Although winter still has the countryside in it's grip, there are signs that a change is coming, and the first flower of the year is now in bloom, the glorious snowdrop. I never feel right picking wildflowers to bring home, they all have an integral part in the wild eco-system, so I take only photos when I'm out and about, but the snowdrops in the little glass jar (clothed in beautifully made crochet by my friend Esther) were garden-grown and gifted to me by my cousin-in-law Nicky and are a beautiful reminder of their wild kin that are carpeting the woods right now.
Inspired by their delicate colouring, I have also enjoyed knitting myself a new hat. It's the Alpine Bloom hat from Caitlin Hunter of Boyland Knitworks and I've used some lovely Hampshire 4ply yarn from The Little Grey Sheep (colourways 'hellebore' and 'naturally'). I don't often wear green but I'm feeling drawn to it as a colour at the moment, probably because there is such a lack of it in the countryside over winter. Spring is on the way though, and long summer days will be following, all things to look forward to on a dark winter's evening.
There is a little gentle-paced pattern writing going on here again too, I'll show you more when it's a little further along, 'til next time I hope life is treating you kindly, J x
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The countryside is currently drab and dormant and much given over to mud, so most of the pleasure in a winter walk comes from the promise of what awaits on returning home. Coming back home after a chilly walk in the murk and mist is a delight; closing the door on the cold; peeling off layers of damp, muddy clothes and changing into warm, comfy and cosy things; cupping your chilled, weather reddened hands around a mug of hot tea and snuggling down by the fire is blissful.
But there is still beauty and colour to be found out there, even in the depths of Winter:
This scant scattering of colour is not quite enough though, so I am eagerly anticipating signs of spring starting to show, and hope to find the first snowdrops soon as a sign that the greening of the woodlands is coming.
In Little Cotton Rabbit news there is not yet much to tell from here, but there are exciting goings on happening at Lucy Locket Land. Lucy had the brilliant idea to create some special kits throughout this year which mix my animal patterns with her own wonderfully imaginative and creative additions.
In January she had the mice dressed as Arfur the Handymouse and Martha the Mousekeeper and these kits proved to be so popular that they are currently sold out. Februarys kits will be the pigs, so it will be exciting to see what they'll be doing and I can't wait to see what other creative fun Lucy comes up with for the other animals over the rest of the year. Here's a link to her instagram where she's posting teasers for future kits, and a link to her shop where the kits are sold.
Images copyright Lucy Locket Land and used with permission.
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Well here we are again at the beginning of a new year, I hope it has started well for you.
We're doing quite well here, Toby coped with going back to college yesterday and the much earlier start to his days and I've been slowly but steadily ticking things off my to do list. At the moment all of my focus is on preparing for the cliff edge that we currently face at the end of June when Toby's college placement finishes. That will mark the end of his 20 years in 'education' and a humungous change for our family. I'm spending all of my available time trying to put in place support and community activities for him so that he can have some meaningful activities in his life outside of his home here and that I can continue to have time in which to work on patterns and earn a living.
We've had no support of any kind since he turned 18 and so have had to begin all over again with preliminary assessments. If you have ever gone through the process of getting a care assessment and putting in place ongoing care for a loved one you will already know about the mountainous burden of paperwork and the enormity of the continuing task, from setting up new bank accounts to manage direct payments; accounting for every penny spent; interviewing, screening via DBS checks and training personal assistants to manage his needs; researching, visiting and engaging placements for day care. It is all down to families to undertake and organise and is utterly daunting and exhausting. This week has been all about recording on paper the struggle that Toby has with every day life, and it's really laid me low to bring into sharp focus and put into words everything about his condition that limits his life and the enormous impact that has on our family.
So I am trying my hardest to just concentrate on one small step at a time, and have had to make a very conscious effort to focus on the small positives that have come my way so far this year. I'm sharing them here mostly to remind myself that often it's the small things that lift a moment from despair to delight.
I hope that you are finding some small joys in your days too and if you're fearful about impending events in your life this year, I hope that you're finding ways to move forward with a hopeful heart,
See you soon, J x
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At the beginning of 2023 I had such big plans: I was going to write lots of patterns; make lots of finished animals, some to sell and some to give away; reply to all of my emails; reply to all instagram, facebook and blog comments; comment on everyone's projects on Ravelry and the facebook group and write some new tutorials.
As always I was overly ambitious and didn't factor in that the time I have available to work in and the time it takes to do all of these things simply doesn't match up. I still have the pictures for the tutorials sat here waiting for the words, I was erratic at best at commenting on other people's projects and replying to comments and I still have unanswered email in my various inboxes. There was only one give-away and a handful of (OK, three) finished animals (including the one above which I can now show as she has arrived in her new home with one of the kindest people I know). If someone was writing my report card, they would say 'must try harder'.
Still, I did do pretty well on the pattern writing front, with new patterns for small mice, small bears, small sweaters, horses and cows.
And last week I upgraded both the 7 inch and 9 inch removable shoes patterns to include 6 styles of boot: There are 2 main boot options: a hiking boot and a fur topped boot, and by changing some of the details on these (as detailed in the pattern) you can also make a pair of wellies, Yeti style apres ski boots, saftey work boots and iconic DMs. So in total there are 6 boot options in both the 9 inch and 7 inch sizes, see pictures above.
Rather than releasing the boots as a new pattern I’ve decided that I wanted to gift them to everyone who has previously bought a copy of the removable shoes patterns:
Well, I'm going to sign off now until the new year. Over the next couple of weeks I'll be spending time with my family, just pottering around without much purpose and enjoying a slower pace to my days. Thank you so much for visiting me here, for all of your kind comments and messages over this year and for supporting my work and enabling me to provide for my family through my pattern writing,
my very warmest best wishes for the season to you and yours, J x
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