Little Cotton Rabbits

December light

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Though we're not yet at the Winter Solstice the days now feel very short here. When I wake at just after 7am the sun has not yet risen and by 4pm it's almost dark. And though daylight might be in short supply, one of the things I love about this time of year is watching the sunrises and sunsets. We've had some beautiful skies at these times of day, sometimes all aflame and dramatic and sometimes beautifully subtle like the colours in a mother-of-pearl shell. Some days before I go to wake up sleepy Toby, I take my early morning cuppa and go out into the garden in my coat and PJs to watch the subtle shifts in the cloud colours as the sun comes up. Even at midday the sun only rises now to 16% above the horizon and on bright days this low light slants through the windows casting angled shadows across the surfaces. We've had a lot of foggy mornings and a few frosts, both leaving everything damp and dewy and the water droplets that collect on every surface (even a ladybird shell) are illuminated by this low light, so they sometimes appear like silvered glass. All small delightful things that are particular to this time of year.

Kit the fox is still a regular garden visitor and despite the fact that H removed the thick growth of cushiony ivy when he put up new fencing, she still uses the heavy duty netting on the top of the chicken run as a hammock for daytime naps. She has grown her thick winter coat now and curls herself up, tucking her nose under her tail like a duvet to keep out the cold wind.

Here inside I've been cosy with my knitting. I've been playing around with different textures for a small set of toy scarves. I've got the pattern written up but need to knit it through and check it, then will share it as a free pattern with the hope that you might still have a little time to use it for some of your Christmas animal makes. I am also hoping to get the last pictures for the badger pattern I've been working on done later today, much later than planned but I'll be back with news of that soon (ish!).

I'm behind with almost everything on my to-do list but I'm sure I'm not alone in that, it's been a tough year so we're all a little frazzled I think, and maybe if some things we had planned to do don't get done it doesn't really matter, leastways that seems to be the best way to think at the moment. 

I hope you're getting most of what you need to do done at the moment and that you then get to have some calm and relaxing time coming up over the holiday period, J x

 

hello again

 

 

 

 

 

Hello and thanks for dropping in to visit here despite my long absence. I hope you've had a good few months and that life for you is finding a balance in these strange times.

The summer break here has been a little challenging at times, things have been difficult for Toby with all of the unpredictable happenings and changes due to covid 19, so we slowed things right down and just parcelled each day up and put it away, moving on to the next one with the hope that it would be a better one. We've had a gentle pace and a very limited routine to our days but that has helped him to settle and calm. He's enjoyed lazy morning lie-ins with breakfast in bed and our daily walks (come sun, rain, wind or storms) have been a time of meditative contemplation. As we've walked quietly together along the peaceful woodland paths, I've matched my pace to his, stopping for minutes at a time when he's in sensory shutdown and can't move, and trying to keep up with him (but mostly failing) when he is overwhelmed by the desire to run. The walks have been the highlight of our days.

There's been a lot of evening knitting time for me while he's watched his videos and played with his books and duplo, and as a result I have a lot of pattern plans on the go. I'm currently working on a set of removable shoes for the animals (for both the regular sized patterns and the small version); the badger pattern is coming together slowly and I'm also working on small versions of all of my animal designs. I've been playing around with this lion idea too, and though it's not quite right yet I hope to have this ready soonish as a free supplement to the existing bear pattern. I'll keep you posted here of developments.

In other news,

• I'm very flattered to have been nominated for Noteworthy Knitting Blog in the Crafties, 2020 which is organised by Lovecrafts. If you'd like to vote for me I'd really appreciate that, the voting link is here.
• September 3rd was my 14th anniversary of starting this blog and so I'd like to hold a little celebratory giveaway, but need to get myself a little organised here first. More news of that in a later post.
• The Facebook group has been a great source of pleasure for me over summer, I've loved seeing everyone's projects there and at the end of August we topped 3,000 friendly members. I'm pondering how to celebrate that with an exclusive giveaway over there but haven't yet worked it out, but that will be coming up too. If you're on Facebook and would like to join us and share your projects, you'll find the group here

Well, that's all the news from me, I mainly just wanted to break the silence and say Hi. Now that Toby is back at school (for his final year) I'm hoping to be able to pop in here regularly and I'll keep you posted on pattern writing progress and the giveaways.

Thanks as always for taking time out of your day to join me here, I really appreciate your visit :)

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PS: I'm sure someone will want to ask, so here's a little info about my notebooks.

I like to write all of my patterns longhand as I'm working them out, so always have several notebooks on the go, jotting down ideas, trying things out, changing them and trying them again - it's a long slow process :) The notebooks themselves are from MD paper - the pages are in a lovely paper that takes the ink well, and I like to personalise them with stickers from the wonderfully talented Nastia Sleptsova.

 

 

On having hope

 

 

Hello, how are you? I truly hope that you're managing and that those you love are safe and well. Here there are good days and bad days. The hardest thing for me is not being able to explain to Toby why everything he knows and loves has stopped and he has had many more meltdowns than usual, but there is a highlight to each day and that is our walk in the woods. We weren't going out to the woods at the beginning of the lockdown because there was some confusion as to whether we were allowed to drive the 3 miles there and back but recent clarification from the government on people with autism being allowed to travel to familiar places has meant that Toby now has one loved activity available.

Whilst we are struggling with daily life here, I know there are so many having a much worse time than us: those medical and health careworkers on the front line dealing with hugely stressful days, those overwhelmed by mental health issues, those fearful of loosing their livelihoods and especially those who have lost loved ones and have not been able to even say goodbye, heartbreak that is happening on a global scale right now. It feels impossible to believe that the human world will ever be the same again after this and I've been thinking how important it is to hold on to hope that there will be good times again.

Each year, in the quiet pause that is New Years day, I sit and fill in important dates in my brand new diary. I so enjoy this ritual - writing on crisp, clean pages the birthdays of loved ones, the eagerly anticipated events, and all the while imagining the whole year spread out and full of possibilities.

On the first page I always try to write myself a little message or quote, a kind of guiding principle for my thoughts in the coming year. Last year, faced as we were with many challenges surrounding Toby's transition from child to adult support services I wrote the words

'Don't let bitterness become you'.

I'm still working on that one and I'm guessing that as the parent of a now adult son who is severely autistic I will need to keep that one as a constant reminder for years to come - a verbal talisman for when I feel overwhelmed by all the things Toby can't do, can't have and can't be and all the things we'll never have as a family. Calling to mind these words does help to pull my thoughts away from destructive negativity.

On January 1st of this year, I wrote these words in my nice new 2020 diary:

'I can still have hope while facing a future I do not know'.

When I wrote that out I was really thinking on a very insular and personal level about the ongoing issues involved in caring for Toby, but that phrase could not have been more apt for the global situation that has unfolded and affects all of us now. The last few months have changed life for us all in unimaginable ways and never more have we needed to believe that there is hope in all of our futures.

So, that's my wish for you today: That you find hope, in whatever form it appears for you, and you cherish, nuture and tend it so that it fortifies you in these darkly terrifying times.

J x

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:: 'Don't let bitterness become you' is a line taken from the lyrics of Elysium by Bear's Den

:: 'I can still have hope while facing a future I do not know'  is a quote from Morgan Harper Nichols, it's the 4th slide on November 22nd 2019

 

All of the pictures above were taken in previous springs (the last one with Amy in was from 2011). Toby's favourite wood doesn't have bluebells, and even if it did he'd not let me stop to take photos ;)  It is though a comforting thought, that despite everything nature is unaffected - other than perhaps in positive ways from less pollution/human intrusion. And although I may not be able to go and see bluebells this year, I know they're out there blooming away, smelling wonderful and looking tear-inducingly beautiful.

 

Over the last month

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The pictures above are a little selection of things from the last month here:

I've been working on several new patterns: clothing patterns for the small animals, including dresses, sweaters and dungarees; more small versions of my animal patterns; a regular sized badger and there are a few other ideas that I'm also playing around with.

Spring has been arriving in our garden and the countryside around us, with blackthorn blossom, catkins and the blossoming of our plum tree.

Kit, our foxy visitor, has been coming almost every day. Back in January she seemed to be getting into lots of fights and was quite injured one morning - you can see in the pictures above her patches of missing fur and scrapes but she also had a bad limp and a broken canine tooth. She spent a day licking her wounds and curled upon top of the chicken run - the ivy-covered netting forms a comfy hammock and happily the chickens seemed oblivious and carried on life as normal! More recently I noticed that she was pregnant - she was distinctly plump around the middle and I think that she had her pups on the 2nd or 3rd of March as she didn't visit on those days and when she arrived on March 4th she was back to her skinny self. Since March 12th she's back to visiting every day for food and her teats are now clearly visible, so her cubs must be thriving. And yes, I am keeping a fox diary :)

The last month has seen unprecented times arrive around the globe and I think we’re all at least a little afraid right now. I'm trying not to shut out that fear and instead embrace it and let it guide me to socially responsible and sensible decisions. We're keeping Toby off school for now as he's vulnerable and we're practicing 'social distancing', going for our wood walks but avoiding other people. That's something we all need to be doing - not just for ourselves and our loved ones but also for the wider community. If you can go out into busy spaces less then do choose to; wash your hands often and keep compassion and kindness to others as your goal - you never know when you yourself might be in need of the kindness and compassion of a stranger.

Please let's all stay safe out there and keep others safe through our actions xxx

 

A gift of time

 

 

Well, it's almost Christmas and so I'm going to sign off here for a couple of weeks. I have all of the presents for Amy and Toby wrapped, the larder and fridge are well stocked, the log pile is full and the christmas tree is up and decorated, so I think I'm organised. I've not had to gift shop for H as it's been years since we bought Christmas gifts for eachother - we learnt quite early on that he doesn't know much about yarn and I know even less about bicycle chain sets and derailleurs. So it was by mutual agreement that we decided to buy our own gifts at Christmastime. This year he's looking forward to using a new set of titanium spoked wheels and I'm going to be enjoying these goodies...

 

 

Devotions, The selected poems of Mary Oliver;

heavenly smelling 'resurrection' Aesop handcream;

beautifully bound Slightly Foxed editions of Adrian Bell's triology of books 1920's farming life in rural Suffolk ;

soothingly tactile mug for tea from Andrea Roman, A R Ceramics;

Viola yarn, organic Merino DK in 'Silver Birch' and Merino fingering in 'Rosehip' from Loop London.

 

However, the gift that we do always give to each other is one far more precious than any material possesions, and that is time. Over the Christmas period, when Toby is off from the routine of school, things can get intense and wearying and so each of us makes sure that the other one has at least 2 hours of free time each day, time when the other person is responsible for the constant supervision that Toby needs. For H this might be going out cycling or spending time up in the attic playing a computer game. And for me this sometimes means going out for a wood walk alone - seeking the peace that I always find in quiet natural spaces; sometimes it might be time for a warm bath (though often that doesn't work out too well if Toby hears the taps running as it turns into Toby-bath-time instead, especially if there are scented bubbles involved); and sometimes it's just space within the busyness of the day to sit quietly listening to music or watching a film and having some uninterrupted knitting time at home while H takes Toby out.

Over the next 2 weeks I'll be looking forward to my little peaceful parcels of 'me-time' and curling up with one of these books, or casting on some mittens with some of this yarn. But before our holidays begin I need to go and pick up Amy from uni and then we can start our festive time altogether.

And with that thought, I'm going to leave you with the wish that your festive celebrations, whatever they may be, are full of small joys and that you are surrounded by those you love most and share many tender and happy times with them,

with love and my warmest best wishes to you for the holidays and for the bright new decade that awaits us,

J xxxx