We had a funny weekend (funny peculiar not funny ha ha!). As Toby gets older and becomes more aware of the world outside his insular one he's beginning to find changes to routine harder to cope with. He's also developing a stronger will so although he's 5 years old he's really just hitting the terrible two's tantrum phase - if he wants something and doesn't get it we know all about it! Anyway, Saturday was a nightmare day. Toby was very unsettled - probably because he'd had only 2 days back at school and then along comes the weekend (that is NOT his routine!). There was much crying, screaming, flinging and fussing and he ruled the roost with the rest of us mostly doing his bidding in an attempt to have a quiet(ish) life. He finally went to bed at 11pm and we rolled in soon after, completely shattered. So on Sunday we decided to keep busy and got up early to go swimming. The local pool does a fun family session with waves and floats. The kids had a great time but once again we were reminded just how different life is when you're living with autism. I looked around me at all those happy children, chattering and laughing and playing with their mums and dads and there was Toby - happy as anything, drinking great gulps of pool water, oblivious to all but the ripples in the water and literally screaming with excitement at the waves. I'm long used to 'funny looks' and stares from others but it is hard when your child is so obviously different and people make an effort to move away from you. We came home to lunch and then Toby spent the afternoon on his trampoline in the garden.
Fun you might think - well yes, but Toby has to bounce with no socks and no trousers and it was raining lightly. It goes against all my maternal instincts to let him stay outside for 3 hours and bounce with no trousers in the winter rain but then I'm learning that flexibility is the key to surviving with autism and if he's happy then we all are! (and I bundled 4 tops on him so he looked like the michelin man with 2 stick legs!) I think my New Year's resolution this year is to have the confidence to go with my gut instinct and not worry so much what others think, afterall what counts is your kids happiness not the judgement of others. A lofty ambition for me, but I feel so supported by all of you who read and comment on my blog that I might just achieve it. Thanks so much for reading my whitterings and commenting - it means a lot to me!
