Well here we are again at the beginning of a new year, I hope it has started well for you.
We're doing quite well here, Toby coped with going back to college yesterday and the much earlier start to his days and I've been slowly but steadily ticking things off my to do list. At the moment all of my focus is on preparing for the cliff edge that we currently face at the end of June when Toby's college placement finishes. That will mark the end of his 20 years in 'education' and a humungous change for our family. I'm spending all of my available time trying to put in place support and community activities for him so that he can have some meaningful activities in his life outside of his home here and that I can continue to have time in which to work on patterns and earn a living.
We've had no support of any kind since he turned 18 and so have had to begin all over again with preliminary assessments. If you have ever gone through the process of getting a care assessment and putting in place ongoing care for a loved one you will already know about the mountainous burden of paperwork and the enormity of the continuing task, from setting up new bank accounts to manage direct payments; accounting for every penny spent; interviewing, screening via DBS checks and training personal assistants to manage his needs; researching, visiting and engaging placements for day care. It is all down to families to undertake and organise and is utterly daunting and exhausting. This week has been all about recording on paper the struggle that Toby has with every day life, and it's really laid me low to bring into sharp focus and put into words everything about his condition that limits his life and the enormous impact that has on our family.
So I am trying my hardest to just concentrate on one small step at a time, and have had to make a very conscious effort to focus on the small positives that have come my way so far this year. I'm sharing them here mostly to remind myself that often it's the small things that lift a moment from despair to delight.
- I have a new garden friend, Bob D. Robin, who flies down to the garden table each morning at dawn when I'm preparing breakfast for the chickens, he gets a pinch of sunflower seeds as a thank you for brightening the start of my day with his beautiful song, sung from the topmost branch of the old plum tree.
- Kit the fox is still visiting, very sporadically over the autumn but a little more frequently these last couple of weeks, though mostly after dark so it's been hard to get pictures of her. She looks well and has a thick and fluffy winter coat. It's coming up to mating time so it will be interesting to see if she has a litter this year and whether she visits more frequently if she falls pregnant.
- Sunrises and sunsets, closer together at this time of year with the short winter days, always have the capacity to bring joy and the vibrant colours splashed across the sky are captivating to watch. I often stand outside with a cup of tea in hand and just enjoy the unfolding spectacle.
- The weather here has been so mild, wet and windy so far this winter but the coming week sees a change to colder, brighter days so I'm hoping to get out with my camera and find the first snowdrops. The anticipation of seeing their beauty is a small joy at the moment too.
- Looking back over the pictures that I took during 2023 has brought a lot of pleasure too, the first picture above is a mosaic of a few of my favourites
I hope that you are finding some small joys in your days too and if you're fearful about impending events in your life this year, I hope that you're finding ways to move forward with a hopeful heart,
See you soon, J x