Little Cotton Rabbits

first days of winter

Some random things from the last week...

 

working on the edging of my big misty blanket, having finished the main section. Hope to make this a wide border but it will be dependant on how much wool is left.

 

 

enjoying frothy coffee in the early afternoons

 

 

discovering a new yarn brand - Yarn Stories. Not only beautiful quality yarns in gorgeous colours but also the nicest packaging I've ever seen. I expect to be knitting lots with their newest yarn, Fine Merino and Baby Alpaca Aran - a couple of colours are going to be so perfect for my next pattern.

 

 

preparing over-winter residences for the local bugs

 

 

Liking, the first frost of the year...

 

 

...the emerging structure of trees...

 

 

...and a regular visitor these last few afternoons - one of our neighbours has a pond so they are probably not liking this handsome chap as much as I am!

 

 

Thanks so much for all of the thoughtful kind and wise comments on the previous post about Toby's recent struggles. It's always lovely to receive such warm-hearted, sweet encouragement and it's so helpful to know others have gone through similar times. The only variables for us now are duration and intensity but since we've been through rough patches before and they've not lasted indefinitely, it's easier to feel hopeful now, knowing that it's a passing phase.

 

woodland wonderland

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The last couple of weeks have been a bit tough for Toby. He's been having many more meltdowns, lots of anxiety and has been much more wakeful at night than his usual hour or two. The hardest thing is not knowing what the cause of this latest 'spell' might be - he has never developed speech and his communication via PECs is limited to him requesting items and activities so there is no way for us to explore what he might be feeling. He has been under the weather health-wise and there have been some changes in school but we're really left to guess work, trial and error and a general feeling of despair at not being able to help him work through it.

Lack of sleep does funny things to your mind (which is probably why it is employed as an effective interrogation technique) and I find I'm a lot more prone to feeling down when we're in these cycles with Toby. Knitting always helps of course but last week I felt the need to be out in the fresh air. The woods in autumn are a beautiful place to be and I do find them spiritually refreshing. I spent a very peaceful couple of hours wandering around alone with a complete absence of human noise and human demands. I saw lots of grey squirrels busy with their winter store, two muntjac deer and a multitude of different birds all too quick for my camera but I did enjoy taking pictures of the plant life.

All the mosses and fungi are particularly abundant at the moment since it's been such a mild and damp autumn. It felt good to be alone in the woods, looking at the tiny small worlds that go on mostly unobserved and it definitely helps me get some perspective back when things are hard going. I count myself very lucky to have such a beautiful place on our doorstep and I'm getting to know its secret places well. Modern existence often separates us from nature but it's to our detriment and I plan to keep heading wood-wards when things get a bit tough here.

 

woodsy

Happily the half term school break wasn't as wet and windy as I'd feared and in fact we were rather lucky with mild, sunshiney days perfect for lots of lovely wood walks.

 

 

 

Toby is such a happy boy in the peace and tranquility of the woods, he notices lots around him, touching trees, exploring textures and enjoying the different sounds he can make with his feet depending on whether he's rustling through the leaves, tromping down the boardwalks or crunching along the gravelly paths. He does like to keep moving though (you can see his shadow pulling on my shadows arm in the picture above - "c'mon mummy, c'mon"). The only time he does agree to stop is when there is a snack involved. I might miss out on more in-depth looking at things and photo taking when I'm with Tobes, but I do love these peaceful little adventures that we share in the sanctuary of the woods.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Amy meantime had a great time on stage in 6 performances of the Addams family, though she was quite worn out by the end of the week. It was lovely to see her having such fun up on stage and the show was a great success.

Other than spending time with Toby and driving Amy back and forth I didn't get an awful lot done, so it's nice to have some free time again now he's back at school. I've been settling back into a bit of crochet blanket making.

 

 

 

It has been put aside for most of the summer but it feels right to work on it again now the days are colder and shorter and I'd like to think that I might get it finished to put on the bed before winter truly arrives, though that might be a little optimistic of me. Once it's a bit more finished I'll find somewhere to spread it out and take a proper picture. I'm also working on a small batch of animals that I hope to have ready soon, more news of that when they're ready.

I'll be back soon with that post about the mice pattern making that I mentioned. Til then enjoy the rest of your week x

 

an at home holiday (part 2)

Walking in the woods is a regular activity for us but not something that I ever seem to do on my own. It's usually Toby and me that wood-walk and Toby is always very much in charge. There's never really time to stop and look at things when you walk with Toby. He receives the words 'wait a minute' with the same reaction you'd expect from saying 'never in a million years' and with much anxiety and handbiting so stopping for a moment to take pictures, look at a flower or just soak up the quiet woodsy atmosphere is not usually something I get to do. But yesterday I made the most of a few hours on my own.

 

 

After I dropped Toby off, I took to the woods in the quiet mid morning when the early morning dog-walkers had already passed through and no-one else was around. I did hear voices once through the trees but didn't actually see anyone. Being alone in the woods can be slightly disconcerting but these are familiar and friendly woods and I felt peaceful and calm.

 

 

We are so lucky here to be on the edge of some ancient woodlands that have protected status and while they are small when looked at on a map, the area is one of the largest oak/hornbeam woodlands in the country and you can easily walk for a day without going down the same path twice. Some of the names are fascinating and hint at lost histories:

Mortals wood, Emanuel Pollards, Thunderfield grove, Claypits wood, Bushy Pightle

Some of these give a clue as to what used to be there but I had to look up pightle, which was once a common word in the naming of fields and denotes a small enclosed piece of land for keeping animals, often attached to a cottage.

 

 

 

 

I followed the path around Toby's favourite patch of woodland - Bencroft. It's a well trod path passing beneath a canopy of various aged trees and with drifts of bracken in the more open areas.

Half way round there is a gate leading onto fields and I sat for a while there in the sun enjoying the view across the valley to the grounds of Beaumont Manor.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Then it was back through a denser part of the wood, peppered with leafy glades and smaller twisting pathways.

 

 

 

 

 

 

It was a lovely peaceful 3 hour walk and nice to go at my own pace and stop frequently to take pictures. Especially since the signs of autumn are appearing everywhere, with the trees laden with budding acorns and the brambles studded with fat, juicy blackberries.

 

 

 

It's made me determined to get out a bit more in the week when Toby is back at school and explore a bit further afield. Mind you it was nice to come back and put my slightly-aching  feet up with a good book afterwards and I had a quiet hour of reading before it was time to pick Toby up again. Usually reading is an exclusively bed-time activity for me and the way that I like to wind down at the end of each day so I did get a bit sleepy and I might have dozed off for a bit too.

 

 

So, we are almost at the end of the school Summer break and I'm now out of Toby-free days. I didn't manage to tick everything off my wish list - I missed out on a picnic (unless you count chomping on an apple in the woods) and visiting somewhere new, but 3 out of 5 isn't too bad and I really enjoyed what I did fit in.

See you soon - once we've settled back into term-time routines again (Toby goes back to school next Wednesday) and thanks as always for dropping by to visit.

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PS: thanks to all of you who asked how H is - he's perfectly fine now thankfully!

 

free time

The last few days have been a bit dramatic for my liking with H being rushed by ambulance to hospital at the beginning of the week with severe abdominal pain. He was kept in overnight and had lots of tests which showed he has a kidney stone. Happily he's now home again and has plenty of pain killers to keep him comfortable until it passes (hopefully soon).

As a result of the extra drama my energy is flagging a bit but luckily Toby has 3 perfectly timed sessions of respite care coming up and I'm looking forward to some time to call my very own. As always I have a list of things to do, people to email, chores to tackle but the thought of carrying on like any normal week has me feeling a bit melancholy.

At this time of year so many of my friends are away on family holidays, enjoying beach time, family adventures and most of all a break of the normal mundanity of life. Family holidays are something that we no longer do because those that we did have when Toby was younger so often became more stressful for all of us than staying at home.  I'm hopeful that holidays will be a part of our future family life (perhaps on the other side of Toby's teenage years) but for now they are out of the question. Anyway, since we are not going away I decided that instead of carrying on with normal stuff I would set my Toby-free-time aside for a little holiday-like activity of my own.

I've taken a leaf out of Nina's book and complied myself a little bucket list of things I'd like to do over the next week, things that are not usually part of my everydays and that I hope will help me capture that lovely lazy freedom feeling that you get when you are on a proper holiday.

 

 

 

I'll pop back and let you know how I get on and if I find my holiday nirvana :)