Little Cotton Rabbits

cushions

Summer colds, sports days, parent's evenings and school concerts have filled most of our time here over the last week. But in between I've squeezed in a little yarnie time and as well as putting the final touches to a batch of knitted animals, I've finished cushion n^o four.

 

Though when I looked at all four of them together, it dawned on me that I really wasn't keen on the third one and so it's been relegated to the bottom of a bag while I decide whether to unravel it.

 

I'm pleased though with the remaining three and like the way that they sit together, all different but tied together by the same colours.

 

There will be news on the batch of knitted animals shortly - I hope to get photos of them done before the end of the week.

We've also had some news on Toby's respite. It's been confirmed that we've been granted 1 day a month of respite (10am -4pm) which is pretty paltry really and left me feeling a bit despondent considering all of the meetings, paperwork and angst we've been through to get it. It also doesn't do a great deal to relieve the continuing lack of sleep, but they won't even consider taking Toby over night until he's 10. Still, looking on the positive side it's better than nothing at all.

Toby has had his first short visit which didn't go particularly well, but as everything there is new and unfamiliar to him, I'd not really expected it to. It's a wonderful purpose built place - a bit like a big family home with bedrooms, dining room, sensory room, toy room, quiet room and a wonderful garden with trampoline, climbing frame and sandpit. Hopefully once he gets used to it, he'll enjoy going there for the day and hopefully somewhere down the line we'll be able to get a little more help than just 6 hours a month!

my little helper

Thank you, thank you, thank you for all of the wonderfully wise comments on the previous post. I suppose I was looking for a little reassurance that my parental compass wasn't completely out of whack! It is incredibly reassuring and heartening that so many people feel the same way about raising children. I loved reading all of the comments especially since they were from such a diverse group of women and yet echo the same strong maternal instincts to protect and nurture. Thank you again x

Amy's enjoying stretching her wings gently and has been out for a bike ride with friends over the weekend - it's good to give her freedom to do fun stuff with her friends that doesn't involve wearing too much make-up!

Over the weekend the temperatures here have soared and since this comes hot-on-the-heels of a rainy week, everything is growing well in the garden. I expect the first harvest of french beans in a week or so and we've been enjoying fresh picked lettuce for a few weeks now. The strawberries are also at their best and I've been picking a delicious bowlful every few days.

 

Thankfully I've got a little helper living in the strawberry patch who has been keeping the slugs in check for me.

 

Isn't he a sweetie?

coloured pencils

Thanks for the kind comments about the latest batch of knitted animals and about my little sitty-knitty corner on the last but one post. A couple of people asked what I use my collection of coloured pencils for. To be honest, not so much these days - they had most of their use nearly 20 years ago when I was at college and then when I worked (briefly) as an illustrator / graphic designer. I used to paint in gouache and then work over the surface in the caran d'ache watercolour pencils. Things like this...

 

 

 

(If you wanted to see more of my paintings there are a few more on flickr.)

These days the pencils mostly come out for shrinkle making with Amy, though I do sketch out ideas for clothing for the knitted animals from time to time. I did a few paintings for the children's rooms when they were little, but the last time I painted properly was when Amy first started school and I made this Little Red Riding Hood costume for a fancy dress competition.

 

These days it's mostly knitting rather than painting that fills my free time - it's easier to pick up and put down and so fits in much better with having the children around. But thanks for asking about the pencils and giving me the chance to drag out my paintings again and remember how cute Amy was at five!

happy father's day

Happy father's day to all Dads out there, most especially my own.

 

Thanks for keeping the felt glasses case that I sewed for you when I was seven - despite the fact that it was never fit for purpose, thanks for putting up with my teenage years, for keeping me on the right path in life and for always being there when I need you.

Love you Dad x

in the basket

I have a host of knitted animals in my 'in progress basket' at the moment.



They're all waiting for little bits and pieces; a dress or jumper, a few french knots here, a button or a tail there.

 

 

The little bear at the back is shortly going to be a raffle prize over at Saving Rare Breeds. He's made from organic rare breed yarn (Manx Loghtan) and has an organic wool aran jumper. If you'd like to be in with a chance of winning him or if you'd like to see the lovely selection of other raffle prizes that they have please follow this link. They do so much good work for dying breeds and they'd really appreciate your support.

 

This is where I've been spending most of the last week, with my bottom parked in that wicker chair, my little radio turned to chill and my fingers working hard.

 

I like to have my collection of needles near by, ready to dip into when the need to start a new project strikes, but for now I'm trying to focus on the animals in the basket and not get distracted from finishing them off soon!

cushions revisited

Around a year ago I decided it was high time I learnt to crochet and thanks to Attic 24's lovely free patterns I dipped my toe in the hooky water so to speak. I have come to love crochet - it has a different pace to knitting and whilst my crochet standard isn't up to that of my knitting, I'm pleased with my efforts so far.

 

 

I started making this set of cushions last May and after making three my enthusiasm kind of petered out and the last one got stuffed in a bag half finished. At the end of last week I decided to unearth it again and try to get it finished. I've still got about 6 rounds to go but so far it's working out well I think - a bit of a mishmash but then I'm still learning and getting better as I go. I like the simple repetition of this project and it's nice to be using my great-grandmother's bone crochet hook.

 

 

These are completely cheaty cushions by the way, I'm only making one side which I'm stitching onto some old cream fabric cushions that I already had - a quick way of having some nice new cushions without having to make the backsides!

I'm still working on my one a day blanket too and there's lots of knitting going on - an update of that next I think!

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PS: Thanks so much for the kind words on the previous post. As a parent, going with your instincts is the best way to go. I think I lost my way because recently there have been so many people involved with our family and Toby and all of that well-meant advice (some of it conflicting) just ended up overwhelming and confusing me! Toby himself didn't help because as soon as I thought I was understanding a trigger to his behaviour or an obsession, he'd change.

Still, co-sleeping is clearly helping at this moment in time and this whole episode has helped me remember that flexibility is the answer to staying sane - hope I remember that when Toby changes tack again!

new beds

If you've been visiting me here for a while you'll know that Toby (like most autistic children) is not a good sleeper and that this year in particular things have been worse than ever. So, over the school half term break we made some changes to our sleeping arrangements.

Before...

after...

 

 

I've not really gone into detail before about what we've been dealing with at night, but it's become usual for Toby to have a major meltdown in the run up to bedtime and then several more during the night. They start with crying and build to screaming, jumping and flinging, hand-biting and raging around the house for an hour or so during which time he wakes everyone up and makes Amy cry. He then goes into an exhausted sleep before waking around 3 hours later for a repeat performance.

The stress of not understanding the cause of his anxiety, not being able to calm him or keep him quiet, the worry about Amy's lack of sleep and coping ourselves with just 3-5 hours of sleep have brought both H and I close to breaking point. Some nights I've even plonked Toby in the car at 3am and driven around just to get him out of the house and to try and break the mood. Driving around for half an hour or so does help calm him, but it's obviously a last resort and I don't feel particularly safe driving when I'm so tired, so we've been trying to find an alternative.

Since he was tiny I've always settled Toby into his own bed at the start of the night, although it has been an increasing battle to get him in there. Sticking with that routine has now become impossible and guaranteed to end in meltdown and as soon as Toby wakes in the night he always comes to find one of us anyway - he's either come into my bed or gone downstairs to H (who for the last 4 years or so has slept on a mattress in the living room - an arrangement that used to give one of us a restful night while the other one had Toby).  So a week or so ago I ignored professional advice about continuing to get him to sleep in his own room and let him start off the night with me in my bed.

I'm glad that I've taken the flexible route instead of sticking rigidly to what others advised, because going to sleep with me in my bed does seem to have helped him. Sometimes in the night he's rolled over semi-awake and reached out a hand to check I'm still there. It seems that having either H or me close by is a source of comfort for him and is helping him deal with his night-time anxiety and I can only draw the conclusion that his distress, anxiety, meltdowns and night-time obsessions are, at least in part, due to fear of sleeping alone.

Anyway, with this in mind we've decided to get rid of the single bed in Toby's room and replace it with a double bed. We've also got H a sofa bed for downstairs, so there's now a choice of 3 proper double beds. It might continue to be a case of musical beds at night but at least it means that there are plenty of options and if Toby stays mostly calm (even if he's wide awake for half of the night) everything will feel a little more positive here and hopefully somewhere down the line we'll all get back into our own rooms and have some decent sleep!

At last I feel that we're regaining some kind of even footing after 5 months of very shaky ground. Somewhere we can rest a while, gather our reserves of energy and move on from with a purpose. I suppose in short I feel ready now for the next bit of our journey with Toby instead of just being swept along against my will!